ETIQUETTE AT THE OFFICE.- Session 1.- Sorry is the hardest word.

If you aren't good at singing or writing songs and you want to find out more about saying sorry, read the following chart. You might find some interesting expressions to apologise.

• To emphasise how you feel
  • I'm really sorry... I'm really sorry, Pete, I didn't mean to lose your book.
  • I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday, Oliver!
• To say why you're sorry
  • Sorry about... Sorry about the mess. I'll clear up later.
  • Sorry for... Sorry for taking your DVD.
• To say sorry without using the words 'I'm sorry'!
  • I'd like to apologise for... I'd like to apologise for the way I spoke to you earlier.

Adapted from http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/radio/specials/1331_howto_feedback/page3.shtml

Would you know the difference in meaning between "I'm sorry" and "I apologise"? If you bumped into someone with your shopping trolley, you might use either phrase. But what about public apologies? For celebrities and politicians the differences are key, and the choice of the right phraseology is vital. Let's take a look at some examples:

In 2009, actress Kate Winslet won two Golden Globe awards: for best supporting actress in The Reader, and for best actress in Revolutionary Road. Winslet's emotional acceptance speech immediately ensured its place in the gallery of YouTube classics, when she tried to apologise to her fellow nominees: "I'm so sorry Anne (Hathaway), Meryl (Streep), Kristin (Scott-Thomas) oh God, who is the other one?" she gasped. "Oh yes, Angelina (Jolie)... OK… Now forgive me... Is this really happening?"

German football team Energie Cottbus announced it would refund 600 supporters the admission price of a recent away game. The fans travelled 610 km to see their players beaten 4-0 by the Schalke team. It was Energie Cottbus's sixth loss in seven games. A statement on the club's website said: "By refunding the cost of admission for their supporters, the red and whites would like to apologise for the pitiful performance which they displayed at the Veltins Arena".

Rap star Kanye West apologised for interrupting the acceptance speech of singer Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards. As Swift was collecting the award for best video by a female artist, West jumped on to the stage saying "Taylor, I'm really happy for you… but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time." The audience jeered. Later, West wrote on his blog: "I'm soooo sorry to Taylor Swift, her fans and her mom ... I spoke to her mother right after and she said the same thing my mother would've said."

Software giant Google apologised to Michelle Obama over a racially offensive image of her that appeared when users searched for images of the US first lady. Google placed an "offensive search result" notice over the picture. The company said: "Sometimes our search results can be offensive." But it refused to take the image down from its search results.

Adapted from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8000481.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8424417.stm
and http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8377902.stm

Kevin Rudd was the 26th Prime Minister of Australia and is currently the Minister for Foreign Affairs. In 2008, he offered a broad apology to all Aborigines and the Stolen Generations for their "profound grief, suffering and loss" in a carefully worded statement that was greeted by a standing ovation.

The Stolen Generations is a term used to describe the children of Australian Aboriginal descent who were removed from their families by the Australian Federal and State government agencies and church missions, under acts of their respective parliaments. The removals occurred in the period between approximately 1869 and 1969, although in some places children were still being taken in the 1970s.

Text adapted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stolen_Generations
and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Rudd

When we talk about ability, we mean two things.

First, we mean general ability. This is something that once you have learned you can do any time you want, like being able to read or swim or speak a language, for example.

The other kind of ability is specific ability. This means something that you can or can't do in one particular situation. For example, being able to lift something heavy, or find a place you are looking for.

• Present:
  • Can / can't (for both general and specific ability).
    • I can play the piano.
    • She can speak English.
    • He can't drive – he's too tired.
    • We can't come now.
    • I can't ride a bike.
• Past:
  • Could / couldn't (for general ability).
    • I could read when I was four.
    • She could speak French when she was a child, but now she has forgotten it.
    • He couldn't dance at all until he took lessons.
    • My grandfather couldn't swim.
    • When I was a child, I could play chess very well but my father couldn't.
  • Was able to / couldn't (for specific ability).
    • When the computer crashed yesterday, I was able to fix it. (Not I could fix it.)
    • She was able to pass the exam, even though she hadn't studied much. (Not she could pass.)
    • He called us because he couldn't find the house.
    • I couldn't open the window.
• Future:
  • Will be able to.
    • If you ask him, he will probably be able to help you.

• Can and Could + INF are used to ask for permission.
  • Can I use your car tonight, dad?
  • Could I use your car tonight, dad?
• There are differences between the two:
  • Can is used in informal situations while Could is used in more formal, polite situations.
    • Can I borrow your pencil, Tomas?
    • Could I borrow your pen, Mr. Clapton?
  • Can is used for the present and Could is used for the past.
    • Last night I couldn't go to the disco, my father was really angry with me.
• The use of May + INF is very formal.
  • May I use telephone, please? Yes, you may.
• Note that when we want to give permission, we use can or may, but not could.
• Be allowed to + INF is used to express that we have permission to do something.
  • We will be allowed to smoke in a bar when we are 18 years old.
  • People over 55 years have been allowed to leave the building 30 minutes earlier.
• Are there any differences between can and be allowed to?
  • Can is used for general permission while be allowed to refers to a particular occasion.
    • People only can smoke in the staff room.
    • The prisoner was allowed to leave the prison for one day last weekend.

There is a saying in English which goes "Sorry is the hardest word to say". This is strange because many non-native speakers of English believe the opposite – that it's the easiest word to say because English speakers seem to say it so often in so many different situations! When you apologise, how you use your voice is crucial, as is your choice of language.

• When we accept an apology we can use phrases such as:
  • That's OK.
  • No problem.
  • Don't mention it.
  • It's quite all right.
  • It's not important.
  • Don't worry about it.
  • No worries.
• When we decide not to accept an apology we can say:
  • I'm afraid that's not good enough.
  • I'd rather you didn't let that happen again.
• A more subtle way of not accepting an apology is to pretend it hasn't been made, for example:
  • A: I'm sorry I lost your pen.
    • B: I'll go and get another one.
  • A: Sorry I'm late.
    • B: Well, take a seat.